Self Confidence Guide: 30+ Questions to Cure Your Impostor Syndrome
Ever felt like an impostor?
You are not alone.
There was a man who was chosen for a great task – fit for even those beyond his age and wisdom.
And he got terrified.
Because he felt like an impostor.
What did he do?
He asked for support to help him forge ahead with courage and confidence. And went on to achieve victory on his great mission.
Such is the profound lesson found in the story of Musa (as) – one of my favourites in the Qur’an. And in much the same way, we find many motivational lessons in the stories of the Qur’an.
Story can be found in Surah Taa Haa: 13 – 37.
Are YOU about to be found out?
You probably feel the same way right now with your big idea to serve our Ummah; earn halaal from your skills and talents; bring your creative work in front of an audience; sell something you created; or share your voice and inspire others by publishing blog posts regularly as I do every Friday.
You feel like you are about to be found out. Run, run, run… you tell yourself.
”Hide before you are exposed as a fraud”, you often whisper to yourself.
The impostor syndrome is biting at you deeply.
YOU are not alone
Studies have found that 70 per cent of all people feel like impostors at one time or another – including the successful ones.
Impostor syndrome is also called impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome. It is a psychological phenomenon (not a disorder) in which people feel like impostors when in fact they are NOT.
Any proof or reference to your accomplishments are dismissed with excuses – as you are unable to internalize your successes.
Good news. You are not alone.
I suffer from this syndrome too from time to time – but ssshhh, don’t tell anyone. Let’s just hook up to try the cures and keep it a secret. Cool?
My sister is an impostor – secret unveiled
Just this week on the #muslimahblogs twitter chat, we got talking about the impostor syndrome.
And guess what?
A dear blogger sister said that she was an impostor. I laughed at her and made a joke out of it after admitting we were in the same boat.
And guess what again?
I told her I was going to unveil her secret *although I know she’s fab at what she does and her work is most inspirational*.
I know you want to know who she is, right? Not a chance. The revelation ends here. Sisters stick together.
Join our twitter chats (#muslimahblogs) to hear more secrets.
YOUR guide is here: 30+ questions to cure your impostor syndrome
1. Have I checked my intention – is it pure and sincere?
2. How can I turn what I’m doing into a rewarding act of worship?
3. Am I doing this for worldly gains ONLY or towards success in both worlds?
4. Am I seeking praise and recognition or value and blessed reward?
5. What strengths has Allah (swt) blessed me with – am I acknowledging them?
6. Am I being myself?
7. Am I being truly thankful?
8. Am I being genuinely helpful?
9. Is Allah’s pleasure my ultimate aim?
10. Am I serving others or feeding my ego?
11. Am I walking in the footsteps of the sahabas and righteous scholars?
12. Am I focusing on the *quantity* e.g social media proof or the *quality* e.g resonant relationships.
13. Am I being positive with my thoughts and inner talks?
14. How can I turn my negative thoughts into positives?
15. Am I using positive phrases?
16. Do I have a positive mindset?
17. Am I firing up the positive emotions within me?
18. Am I living in the shadows of the famous, successful and other achievers ?
19. Who do I love the most and care about – My Creator or His creations?
20. Do I acknowledge that I’m only human, I’m not perfect, I have weaknesses?
21. Do I admit that I don’t know, when I truly don’t?
22. Am I willing to explore and experiment where I’m clueless and need to know more?
23. Am I eager yet humble with my growth, learning and development?
24. Do I commit to learning from my mistakes and moving ahead towards a positive and sustainable change?
25. Do I remember that I’m only a traveler and need to do my best before its time to move onwards?
26. Do I acknowledge that I need help sometimes – because I don’t know it all?
27. Do I admit that there’s strength in numbers?
28. Do I accept that it is better to collaborate then to compete with others?
29. Do I submit to that fact that its OK to try and fail.
30. Who are my influences – are they building or breaking me?
31. Am I in the right support network?
32. Do I accept that this life is a test and trial for all and the only constant thing is change?
Be your best. Do your best
Don’t stop or give up because you feel like a fraud. Nobody is about to expose you. Just don’t lie or claim to be who you are not.
Because the Ummah needs and awaits Y.O.U.
Grow and develop yourself so you can help others. Keep learning, growing and striving towards betterment. Perfection is said to be a moving target. So seek Ihsan (excellence) instead. And that should be a lifelong goal.
So, on your mark… Let’s get moving
Do as Musa (as) did
Do you still feel like you don’t really deserve to be where you are right now?
Set your intention first and forge ahead.
Empower yourself through constant growth, learning and practicing.
Just as you practice with positivity and gratitude, you can also practice with your self confidence. It begins with your mind-set and trickles down to your manners and speech.
And just like Musa (as) did with his people, you can achieve great victory with your goals and aspirations.
Follow in his footsteps:
~ Ask Allah (swt)
~ Acknowledge your strengths and weaknesses
~ Explore your resources and use your strengths to build confidence.
~ Step into the world with your buddy or support network cheering you on.
~ Be positive and thankful for Allah’s help and guidance.
~ Submit to Him
1. Write a mini-autobiography listing your unique strengths, experiences and story. What value can you give others from what you have? List them.
2. Practice what you have learned. Do not try to pile up more information or invent the greatest thing since ‘Internet’.
3. Ask people what you are good and unique at; and try to build on them.
4. Step into your role and inner purpose in life. Try to fulfil your duties and responsibilities as best as you can.
You can conquer your fears, cure your impostor syndrome and attain some great victory today.
To your confidence.
Do you often feel like an impostor? In what ways do you try to overcome this syndrome and gain self confidence?