Honour your Parents Checklist [10 Key Pointers for Muslim Youth]
Your parents are a gift to you.
Each parent has invested in you in many special ways that only mothers and fathers can do from their natural fitrah. From the physical, emotional, financial to the spiritual. Their rights upon you are non-negotiable.
Your duty to your mother is neither optional nor recommended. It is a great obligation that Allah (swt) has laid upon you.
Therefore distance, marriage, success, age and other factors do not make this obligation null. To stress its importance, Allah (swt) has forbidden you from neglecting your mother and essentially your parents.
Allah (swt) has commanded us in many verses to be excellent to our parents and has pointed to the great importance of righteousness towards our parents.
Here’s a simple honour-your-parents-checklist, to help you take yourself into account regarding your MEGA duty. And so you can utilise the opportunities that come with it.
A 10-point honour your parents checklist
1. Is my mother the most deserving of my good company?
Abu Huraira reported: A man asked the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, “Who is most deserving of my good company?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked, “Then who?” The Prophet said “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your mother.” The man asked again, “Then who?” The Prophet said, “Your father.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
2. Am I being patient with them despite what they say or do to me?
”The one who keep good relations with his family is not the one who recompenses the good done to him. Rather, the one who keeps good relations with his family is the one who continues to be good to them despite having been cut off by them.” (Buhkari)
3. Do I ask Allah (swt) to assist me in fulfilling my duties toward them?
Abdullah ibn Amr reported: A man came to the Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, asking permission to strive in jihad. The Prophet said: Are your parents alive? He said yes. The Prophet said: Then strive in their service. (Bukhari)
4. Am I conscious of my parents’ good attributes and the special way they have served me?
”No child can compensate his father unless he finds him as a slave, buys him, and sets him free.” (Muslim)
5. Am I striving for Jannah through my parents?
Abu Huraira reported: The Prophet, peace and blessings be upon him, said, “He is disgraced! Again, he is disgraced! Again, he is disgraced!” It was said, “Who is disgraced, O Messenger of Allah?” The Prophet said, “The one who sees his parents grow old, one or both of them, and he does not enter Paradise through them.” (Muslim)
6. Am I mindful of my speech to them, not even saying ”ufff!” to them in annoyance?
”Your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him and be good to your parents. Whether one or both of them reach old age with you, do not say to them a word of annoyance and do not repel them but rather speak to them a noble word. Lower to them the wing of humility for them out of mercy and say: My Lord, have mercy upon them as they brought me up when I was small.” (Surah Al-Isra 17:23-24)
7. Am I consistently good to my parents even if they are unbelievers and command me to commit sins?
”If they strive to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, then do not obey them but accompany them in this world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me.” (Surah Luqman 31:14-15)
8. Am I good mannered and helpful to them in all reasonable matters; especially in old age and through difficult times (financial, physical, psychological)?
”Worship Allah and associate nothing with Him and be good to parents.” (Surah An-Nisa 4:36)
9. Do I supplicate to Allah (swt) everyday to bless them, forgive them and have mercy on them; so it can benefit them even while in their graves?
”Verily, Allah the Exalted will raise the status of his righteous servants in Paradise and they will say: O Lord, what is this? Allah will say: This is due to your child seeking forgiveness for you.” (Ahmad)
10. Am I kind to their friends even after they are gone?
”The best act of righteousness is that a man should maintain good relations with his father’s loved ones.” (Muslim)
Keep your checklist with you always. And learn to be mindful of your words and actions towards your parents in ‘good and not-so-good moods’.
Make your Jannah your goal, while serving and honouring your parents.
In what other ways can you honour your parents and encourage others to do the same?