8 Easy Ways to Maintain Good Vibes with Siblings
Allah (swt) blessed me with both brothers & sisters.
Each with their unique personalities and different outlooks on life.
We share ideas, problems, interests and countless memories. Just as we spend time together; growing up & growing wiser.
Our siblings mean a lot to us, don’t they?
There are many things they know about us that the entire world doesn’t. All of those growing up & youthful moments, from the silly ones to the pranky & serious ones bind you to each other in different ways.
Through their love, support and kind feelings, you can get through a lot. But notwithstanding all the love & compassion, there will be tense situations where bad feelings & words surface. And that is when you see the dark side of each other.
When the going gets rough with the siblings, the world can shrink for you.
When Things Go Sour
The bonds that hold people together as family could be really strong. So you can see yourself (attitude, mannerisms) in those you share the same blood ties with. But it is easier to get hurt by such people who are closest to you than strangers.
Things can go from sweet to sour in just a short exchange of words, looks and emotional clashing.
If you strive to understand yourself and your sibling(s) better, then you can maintain better relations. You can be the change you want to see. Be a peace bearer and always look for ways to keep things great from your own end.
If you want your brother or sister to listen to you, then practice being a good listener. Build good communication skills to enhance your interactions.
If you want him/her to respect your feelings, then uphold the same respect as. Build your people skills and develop better rapport.
…Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves… (Q13;V11)
8 Easy Ways to Maintain Good Relations
1. Uphold ties of Brotherhood. Remember that you enjoy the ties of brotherhood in Islam with your sibling(s), in addition to the blood ties that join you. And this confers on you the responsibility of fulfilling the rights of each other. Having this at the back of your mind will help to enhance the good relations, an important aspect of our Deen – Islam.
Whatever happens between you, remember you are brothers/sisters in Islam first and foremost.
…O servants of Allah! Be like brothers with each other: A Muslim is the brother of another Muslim, he does not hurt him or look down upon him or put him to shame. Piety is a matter of heart – he (the Prophet saw) said it thrice. It is enough evil for a person to look down upon his Muslim brother. [Riyadus Salihin]
2. Think the best of your brother/ sister. Avoid looking for faults & weaknesses. Rather focus on their good points and value them for it, after all nobody is perfect. Acknowledge even their little efforts and overlook the mistakes.
Stay with those who will give you good words and positive reminders of maintaining good ties with siblings. Keep far from those who will spur you on with hatred and slander of your dear brother or sister.
Blessed is he who is preoccupied with his defects rather than those of other people. [Bulugh Al-Maram]
3. Keep in touch. Visit each other. Exchange regular messages, emails, calls etc.
4. Exchange gifts. Is there any heart which will not melt at a gift from a loved one?
5. Spread the salaam (greetings of peace).
6. Learn to forgive and move on. Do not harbour ill-feelings and grudges for the future.
…But if a person forgives and makes reconciliation, his reward is due from Allah: For (Allah) loveth not those who do wrong. [42:39-40]
7. Open communication. Create opportunities for you to sit down and discuss what is happening in life. Be honest, sincere and have a good intention. Also, learn to talk & problem solve about those issues bugging you or causing bad feelings, if any at all. Don’t assume s/he must know, after all you can’t read the minds of others too.
8. Maintain good character. Use kind words with each other. Be polite and have a forgiving attitude so as to model them to others. Do not fight or curse, or intentionally look to cause any trouble.
…So fear Allah, and keep straight the relations between yourselves… [Q8:V1]
Sincere Dua. Never tire of asking Allah (saw) to ease affairs between you and your sibling[s]. He is the Turner of hearts & the One who puts love between hearts.
Many Reasons to Care
Allah (swt) put you together with your sibling[s] for many reasons.
To play and grow together.
To learn from each other.
Support each other.
Share mutual concerns.
You can even pray together.
And compete in good deeds.
For the opportunity seeking Muslim Youth, you must strive for Jannah together. Use your good vibes & energy to complement one another as you strive for the goodness of this world and the next.
Remember to love for your sister/brother what you love for yourself.
Be Siblings. Be Companions. Be Partners